Jesus is our Rock

I wish I had more time with Carter.  It didn't seem enough.  It hurts - my heart hurts and it cries. I miss him so much.  I want to hold him.  When I do get to see him again, I feel like I will never, ever let go of him.  I hope he is still nine, because that's how I remember him. With his big front teeth in his smile -- and that sparkle in his eye. That's how I see him in my mind. I miss his hair - I loved his thick hair. I miss all the moles on his body, especially the one on his face, right above his mouth. Sometimes I hear him in Bradley's voice, and I want him to be there.  It's hard to imagine what he would even be like at thirteen.  I don't know and it hurts not knowing. It's hard to imagine what it would even be like for him living here with us. We don't have those memories. Surrendering is hard.  I can't control it; I can't change it, but I want to. I want to go back and do it all over again. But I can't. Its hard to face birthdays and heaven days. To act like everything is ok and its not. Crying hurts - it hurts my body, makes me weak; it hurts my eyes, they throb; it hurts my head. I get headaches from it. These headaches will never go away.  Please, God, use my pain for Your glory. Use it to advance Your kingdom.

"My eyes strain to see your rescue, to see the truth of your promise fulfilled." Psalm 119:123

"I have suffered much, O Lord; restore my life again as you promised." Psalm 119:107

My best memories give shape to that hopeful future. Your memories - especially if you've lost a loved one, or your health, or your ability to think clearly - should inspire hope in you too. For as wonderful as the world was when all those special remembrances occurred....these things are only foreshadowings of more delightful, pleasurable experiences to come....Jesus assures us that our best memories will one day blossom into a more joyous reality that we ever imagine.

Joni Eareckson Tada

The Lord has blessed us with beautiful people in our lives.  I feel very grateful for the family and friends that have hung in there and who continue to hang in there with us. Some days we can be feeling very lifted.....filled with so much hope....feeling so good. The next day can hit us like a rock and the darkness comes in......overwhelming sadness, and a struggle to just get through the day...to even get out of bed in the morning.  Our bodies heavy, tired, and weary. We can't imagine having to talk to anyone or put a smile on our face.  I cry out..."Please, God, let me hear Your voice...Your truth....Your promises!" We know God is there, but we can't see Him. These ups and downs create drama, messiness, chaos in peoples lives.  And we are so very thankful for the ones who "get it", and can accept our brokenness, and love us right where we are.
Thank you! We love you!

"I rise early, before the sun is up; I cry out for help and put my hope in your words. I stay awake through the night, thinking about your promise." Psalm 119:147-148

I  know there is joy and hope even while we suffer. God will sustain us. Our hope is in the Lord.  Jesus is our hope! God's faithful love endures forever!

 

A Beautiful City

I like earth. But my heart pumps for heaven. Our hearts hold a shadow of heaven.... I have a glorious homesickness for heaven, a penetrating and piercing ache. I'm a stranger in a strange land, a displaced person...What a sweetness to feel homesick for heaven.

Joni Eareckson Tada

 

 

"But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body."

 Philippians 3:20-21

 

 

Only in the Gospel of Christ do hurting people find incredible hope.

 

Justice Run

Justice Run

July 9, 2014

Carson Park

From here to eternity

All your life an unattainable ecstasy has hovered just beyond the grasp of your consciousness. The day is coming when you will wake to find, beyond all hope, that you have attained it.

C.S. Lewis

 

"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven." Luke 6:23
 

 

 

Sweet Hannah

Thinking about our dear friends this week, Jeff & Heather Hahn, and their precious daughter, Hannah, on her Heaven date. 

"O God, listen to my cry!  Hear my prayer!  From the ends of the earth, I cry to you for help when my heart is overwhelmed. Lead me to the towering rock of safety, for you are my safe refuge, a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me." Psalm 61:1-3. 

Crying out to God in our pain....missing our children so darn much...and can't wait to walk through Heaven's doors.....

Lifting up the Hahn's and praying for courage to trust God.  The day is coming when death will ultimately be destroyed!!  (1 Corinthians 15:20-26)

"He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain...." Revelation 21:4

 

Please join us in praying for the Hahn's!

 

 

Flowers, Fireworks & Friends

Donations and proceeds will be taken for

Hope Gospel Mission and Hope for Haiti

"Flowers, Fireworks & Friends" is an amazing fellowship opportunity for our whole community and school family. Christ Lutheran School would be honored to have you join us. "Down to Earth" loves people and is blessed to put on an event of this magnitude. Christ Lutheran will be present that day with a booth and even a clown or two. Enjoy this time for food, fellowship and good old fashioned down to earth fun. Feel free to invite others too.  They are expecting around 5000 people so feel free to come early and stay late! J

     

Father's Day for the hurting

 

 

 

 

 

 I have a heavy heart for my husband who will have his 4th Father's Day without his oldest son.  My heart breaks looking at his sadness and pain.  I am the "talker" of my pain.  My husband is the silent one who suffers by himself to look after me as I grieve and trying to fix what he cannot fix.  I know he will carry his broken heart until his last breath.  Thankfully, his faith makes his days bearable.  Not a day goes by without thinking about Carter and talking about what life would be like with him.

 

Yes, it's Father's Day and for the sake of Bradley, it will be a happy father's day, but it will also be a day of emptiness and loneliness without Carter.

 

May all the grieving dads out there feel the love of their lost children.

 

 

To be a man in grief,
Since "men don't cry"
and "men are strong"
No tears can bring relief.

It must be very difficult
To stand up to the test,
And field the calls and visitors
So she can get some rest.

They always ask if she's all right
And what she's going through.
But seldom take his hand and ask,
"My friend, but how are you?"

He hears her crying in the night
And thinks his heart will break.
He dries her tears and comforts her,
But "stays strong" for her sake.

It must be very difficult
To start each day anew.
And try to be so very brave-
He lost his baby too.
Eileen Knight Hagemeister

 

 

Happy Father's Day to the One who loves us most and carries us through our pain.  Heavenly Father, we need and rely on You for our Daily Bread.....