July 27, 2011

I prayed that Carter was celebrating his 10th birthday in Heaven with Jesus.

Carter's tree planted for him at Badger High School

Carter's favorite place to be, Moelter Farm, where cub scouts run free..... Carter's engraved stone and flagpole at Moelter Farm-

This orange balloon was released with hopes to reach Heaven!

Carter's tree planted for him at Eastview Elementary School

Journal Entry: July 27, 2011

Carter's 10th Birthday

Dear Carter,

Today is your 10th birthday and we miss celebrating it with you here on earth. I've been praying all day - praying that you are celebrating your birthday in Heaven with Jesus and having the very best party ever!! ......Praying that you can see how much you are missed here on earth......Praying that you are watching Bradley grow up and to know just how much he loves you .... how much all of us love you!!

Bradley talks about you all the time, Carter. From the time he wakes up in the morning to the time he goes to bed, it is ..."Carter this" and "Carter that" .... telling me all about the adventures the two of you had together. He misses you so much! The first thing every night when I ask him if he has any special prayers or to thank God for something, the first thing he tells me is .... "Carter!" So you are always first in our prayers! He is not the same without you, Carter. Your going Home has been a difficult suffering for all of us. We love God with all our heart and we trust Him, but the suffering and pain of you leaving us remains.

We read so much about Heaven and where you have gone. God gives us comfort through it! Only God's Words and Promises really comfort us and keep us going each day. It must be so wonderful to be there in Heaven every day with Jesus ... so beautiful, without any pain, suffering and sorrow. I can't wait for the day when you can show me all of God's blessings and Promises -- all the beauty to Heaven.

I've grown so close to God to get me through these last 8 months. I cry every day, but I see God's love, work and blessings every day, too. I still think back to the accident Carter, and I'm so sorry I couldn't protect you. I would still trade places with you. But this is God's will, and when I surrender to Him, I accept what has happened, no matter how hard it is.

I still find myself praying selfishly at times, for my selfish desires of wanting to go Home and to be with Jesus. I have some real hard days where I pray and ask for another chance to start all over again with you, knowing what I now know. God has revealed so much to me. Praise God for the Bible with His Words and Promises to help us understand and give us hope. I see God's work now more than I ever have. When I get caught up in the selfish, worldly desires, I think about where you are, and everything comes into perspective again. I am so glad this is not our permanent home!! I am so thankful God gives us eternal life - to live a life for Him - to carry my cross with Him - to be humble and obedient. Losing you Carter, gives me a real understanding of what Jesus did for us.

Carter, you are missed by so many! Your good friends miss you badly. Your cousins, Carter....... they miss you so much! Your Grandparents, Uncles & Aunties really miss you. I have people reaching out to me from everywhere sharing their memory of the love you showed for Jesus! I am so blessed to hear these stories -- so very, very proud of you, Carter! Heather said to me - when you went Home, Jesus had open arms and said "Welcome Home my faithful servant!" It really made me see who you were with your time here on earth -- a faithful servant! The love you had for Jesus and for Heaven was amazing. You are my inspiration, Carter! You inspire me to love like you did. Thank you for loving everyone. Thank you for standing up for Jesus when you knew it was right and when it was hard. Thank you for sharing His love so others would get to know Him.

This day is hard for me, Carter. Bradley wanted to make you a cake and have a party for you. I knew that I needed to be with God and be close to you. People everywhere miss you, Carter, and love you. Thank you for showing people how to love Jesus. Thank you for loving me so much that you could always put a smile on my face. I look forward to that day again!

I love you, Carter ... I miss you terribly. I thank God for you! Happy Birthday, Baby!

Love, Mom

8 months since you went Home

My heart was filled with joy as I returned home to find the house filled with orange balloons!

All the balloons were weighted down with little rubber duckies!

Thank you Auntie Shana and Andrew for making Carter's birthday so wonderful! Thank you for making a special memory for Bradley, too.

Click on the link for "Forever Reign", by Hillsong

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m84URv4Sgxc

"Every word of God proves true. He is a shield to all who come to Him for protection." Proverbs 30:5

Forever 9

My Journal Entry: Mother's Day
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May 8, 2011
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Dear Carter,
I love you so much. I miss you more than anything I can compare it to. My heart is so broken; I can hardly breathe at times because I cry so hard. I thank God that I had you; that God gave me - you; and yet, I wish I had you longer. I miss our fun together - our foolishness, silliness, our laughs, and your sense of humor.
~
I don't know everything about Heaven, but I hope we have the same fun there. I have a hard time having fun and feeling happy these days. So much of my happiness came from you. You always made me laugh. I am so lonely without you. I miss having you by my side. I feel so alone - you always made me feel good and so loved. I cry so much, I sometimes wonder how I will ever continue life on earth without you. But I want you to know that I will. I trust our Lord - I love Him so much and I am hopeful. I will serve Him and live my life for Him.
~
I pray every day and ask God to give me the patience to wait for Him. I feel impatient to go Home or for Jesus to come back to earth very soon. I pray for enough strength to do God's will. It seems so long to wait, but our Father gives me enough grace each day to make it through. I can't think about the next 30 to 40 years without you. But I know God gives me enough grace each day to go from breakfast to bedtime without seeing you.
~
I think about you in Heaven and all that you are doing. I imagine you with Baby Jacob, Baby Dorwin, Meme, Dorothy, Sharon, your pets (Orangy, Purry & Leafy), and SO many others. I pray that Jesus has introduced you to other babies and children in Heaven because you have always been so loving with babies. I think about you with Hannah Hahn, Hannah Borowski, Jonathan & Benjamin Mitchell, Kelly (Grandma Deb's organ donor), Treyton Kilar, Emily Rose, a colleagues baby, Briana and soooo many others.
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I have such a clearer picture of how good of a brother you were to Bradley. You were so protective of him and more patient than what I ever gave you credit for. You loved Bradley so much, and now he really, REALLY misses you!
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Some days I wonder how we are all going to make it without you. That's how much we love you and how important you are to us. This accident has caused a huge hole in our family. But I trust God that you are safe in Jesus' arms and Jesus has been holding us "tightly" since November 16, 2010. Nothing is the same without you and it never will be.
~
God shined through you, Carter! Your love for Jesus has made such a positive, loving, Christ-like influence on so many people. Your faith, Carter, and love for Jesus has turned people to God. Some have drifted away and it brought them back. Some are "seeking" God and are thirsty for Him. Your life here on earth has made a huge impact on MANY!! You are missed by so many!
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Life is not the same without you. I will continue to live for our Lord, but I cannot wait to go Home to Him and be reunited with you. We can then worship God TOGETHER, face-to-face! I love you, Carter. I miss you, Carter. I look forward to see you in Heaven. Please wait for me. Please meet me at the gates when I come Home.
~
Missing you so much on Mothers Days! Six-months since you went Home!

I love you, Carter!! Love, Mom
~ Click on the link to "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c

"For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later." Romans 8:16-18

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33:20-22

~

We love you Carter. We have loved every minute that we have had with you.

FOREVER 9, on July 27, 2011.

Praise You in this Storm

Click on the link below:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MUWbmtbzDno
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".....Until this time I had never really longed for heaven. I believed in it. I made my moral choices in the hope of attaining it. But it was so far beyond my imagination that my attitude had been to embrace God now and trust that I will love him enough to give myself unreservedly to him when the moment comes to exchange time for eternity."

~

"But something had changed..................something that tied me to earth, that made the physical beauty and the beauty of the natural world idols to me. Physical beauty rots in the grave and natural beauty groans in travail, while both await their liberation from slavery to corruption. I found myself longing for heaven, longing to be with my son, longing to leave this valley of tears. But more, I was longing to be with God. Something in the longing was changing. It was no longer simply to be rid of the pain. It was no longer simply to see {Carter} again. It was God himself who was the longing behind all my other longings. "

~

"A Grief Unveiled, One Father's Journey Through the Death of a Child", Gregory Floyd

Just To Be With You

Click on the link below for Paul Baloche's video: "Just To Be With You". The lyrics to the song are below the video.
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http://www.onlylyrics.com/hits.php?grid=11&id=1038234
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"John-Paul {Carter} has been received into the loving arms of God. The sacrifice of Christ has assured Johnny {Carter} a safe passage into everlasting life. The Lord is coming back to take us home. There will be a reunion. We will be together. These are truly words of comfort. They do not say, "Stop grieving." They do not say, "You should be feeling better." They do not say, "Snap out of it." They say, "A better day is coming." And that assurance of a better day has the power to console me in the midst of my pain. We are knit together with Johnny {Carter} in Christ and in the Church. We are still family, and will be forever."

~

"Yes, You heal the brokenhearted. But not the way people think. You heal us to the point of recognizing that we will never be whole until we are home with You. It makes the images You give us for life so much more real - a battle, a journey, a narrow road. Through it all, Your love carries us and works it to the good."

~

"A Grief Unveiled - One Father's Journey Through the Death of a Child", by Gregory Floyd

I Want to Be Just Like You

Click on the link below:
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Z8bXcBRIU0
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Mighty to Save

Anyone that knows Carter, they might remember him feeling very uncomfortable having to get up in front of a large group. He needed a little boost in his confidence.
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During VBS last summer, Carter was on the stage singing with his VBS friends. Pastor Michael came over and handed him the mic during the "Mighty to Save" song. With no fear what-so-ever, Carter grabbed the mic, and sang loud and clear to a solo of "Mighty to Save".
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Needless-to-say, I was a very proud (and tearful) mama!! He knew all the lyrics to the song!!!
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"Mighty to Save" has become one of our favorite songs in our family!!!
~ One of Carter's memorized Bible versus at AWANA: "I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one can come to the Father except through me." John 14:6

CLICK ON THE LINK BELOW:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GhgE3vsqhfo

Blessings

"So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:18

Click on the link below:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOOFAaUGfRE&feature=related