Mother’s Day is a challenging celebration for moms who have experienced the death of her child. The day, and even the days/weeks leading up to Mother's Day, is a painful trigger for bereaved moms. For many of us, it is a day of pain and loss.
MOTHER'S DAY, WHAT DOES IT MEAN FOR US NOW? (Clara's mom)
I took motherhood so seriously. I took nothing for granted.
I was always praising and giving thanks for what I had
Praying for safety and health, is all I ever wanted.
And yet this happened to me.
I chose to stay close to her, live through her life not my own.
I put my own needs aside, because my needs were now her needs.
And yet, this still happened to me.
My life was spent caring for my daughter, who made me a better person. With her there was so much more to life, so much more to give. She made my life special in so many ways.
One day she was living alive and happy and thriving.
The next day she was gone, and no longer do we share our lives together.
Everything has changed, I went from being Kati to very proudly be known as "Clara's mom" oh how I loved being called Clara's mom.
I wasn't Kati anymore I was Claras mom. My identity changed, and my insides changed, my heart grew, and swelled with love.
I'm trying to figure a way to struggle through life and constant grief.
To find anything to bring peace for just a moment. I'm trying to accept that this is happened to me. And realize I can't physically kiss, hug, smell, bathe, dance, doll up, sleep, with my daughter ever again.
I am looking for something to bring wholeness and peace, and move a step forward into this life I never wanted. And would do anything to give it back. Why did this happen to us.....
"Whom have I in heaven but you? I desire you more than anything on earth. My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak, but God remains the strength of my heart; he is mine forever." Psalm 73:25-26
Lord, please help us......we need You!
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