Forever 9

My Journal Entry: Mother's Day
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May 8, 2011
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Dear Carter,
I love you so much. I miss you more than anything I can compare it to. My heart is so broken; I can hardly breathe at times because I cry so hard. I thank God that I had you; that God gave me - you; and yet, I wish I had you longer. I miss our fun together - our foolishness, silliness, our laughs, and your sense of humor.
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I don't know everything about Heaven, but I hope we have the same fun there. I have a hard time having fun and feeling happy these days. So much of my happiness came from you. You always made me laugh. I am so lonely without you. I miss having you by my side. I feel so alone - you always made me feel good and so loved. I cry so much, I sometimes wonder how I will ever continue life on earth without you. But I want you to know that I will. I trust our Lord - I love Him so much and I am hopeful. I will serve Him and live my life for Him.
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I pray every day and ask God to give me the patience to wait for Him. I feel impatient to go Home or for Jesus to come back to earth very soon. I pray for enough strength to do God's will. It seems so long to wait, but our Father gives me enough grace each day to make it through. I can't think about the next 30 to 40 years without you. But I know God gives me enough grace each day to go from breakfast to bedtime without seeing you.
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I think about you in Heaven and all that you are doing. I imagine you with Baby Jacob, Baby Dorwin, Meme, Dorothy, Sharon, your pets (Orangy, Purry & Leafy), and SO many others. I pray that Jesus has introduced you to other babies and children in Heaven because you have always been so loving with babies. I think about you with Hannah Hahn, Hannah Borowski, Jonathan & Benjamin Mitchell, Kelly (Grandma Deb's organ donor), Treyton Kilar, Emily Rose, a colleagues baby, Briana and soooo many others.
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I have such a clearer picture of how good of a brother you were to Bradley. You were so protective of him and more patient than what I ever gave you credit for. You loved Bradley so much, and now he really, REALLY misses you!
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Some days I wonder how we are all going to make it without you. That's how much we love you and how important you are to us. This accident has caused a huge hole in our family. But I trust God that you are safe in Jesus' arms and Jesus has been holding us "tightly" since November 16, 2010. Nothing is the same without you and it never will be.
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God shined through you, Carter! Your love for Jesus has made such a positive, loving, Christ-like influence on so many people. Your faith, Carter, and love for Jesus has turned people to God. Some have drifted away and it brought them back. Some are "seeking" God and are thirsty for Him. Your life here on earth has made a huge impact on MANY!! You are missed by so many!
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Life is not the same without you. I will continue to live for our Lord, but I cannot wait to go Home to Him and be reunited with you. We can then worship God TOGETHER, face-to-face! I love you, Carter. I miss you, Carter. I look forward to see you in Heaven. Please wait for me. Please meet me at the gates when I come Home.
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Missing you so much on Mothers Days! Six-months since you went Home!

I love you, Carter!! Love, Mom
~ Click on the link to "I Will Rise" by Chris Tomlin
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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fa8w7mGug0c

"For his Spirit joins with our spirit to affirm that we are God's children. And since we are his children, we are his heirs. In fact, together with Christ we are heirs of God's glory. But if we are to share his glory, we must also share his suffering. Yet what we suffer now is nothing compared to the glory he will reveal to us later." Romans 8:16-18

"We wait in hope for the LORD; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O LORD, even as we put our hope in you." Psalm 33:20-22

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We love you Carter. We have loved every minute that we have had with you.

FOREVER 9, on July 27, 2011.